I’m Working

ellen

Two months ago I stopped working at an office.  Surprisingly, it is taking me much longer to let go of that part of my identity, my routine, my focus . . . and reclaim my own mental space and home schedule again.  Over the past decade I’ve always “worked” in some form or another, but something took ahold of me while I was working in an office for a couple of years and becoming part of an organizational culture — something that I didn’t quite recognize until I’d left it.  It was so easy to point to my well-respected, local land conservancy and say, “I work there.”  It was so official.  Legitimate. I liked that.

picnic

Now I squirm a bit when asked, “Where do you work?” My answer is much more complex.  I get to say, “I do this,” instead of “I work there,” which is not always an easy thing to explain.

what's in there?

The how and why I got here is a long story, but after a bit of mental turmoil I’m ready to admit the simple truth: I am so happy to be home again. I love to work at home. I say this with joy and also with a little guilt — because whether or not my current work will materialize into income is still an unknown. So, can I still call it work? Also, now that it is summer, my days are very likely to include a spontaneous picnic or two . . . and what would the boss say?

wild flowers

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